A desire to please other people seems a very Christian virtue, since serving others forms an integral part of the gospel message (see, for example, Phil 2:3-4). However, there is a difference between serving people out of love and obedience and serving them because you are motivated by a need for their approval and affirmation.
Aesop says in one his fables, ‘In trying to please all, he had pleased none’, and another proverb says, ‘You can please some of the people all of the time; all of the people some of the time and some of the people NONE of the time.’ The Bible tells us that it is better to seek to please God than people (see Gal 1:10, Prov 29:25) Our aim should be to live a life worthy of the Lord (Col 1:9)… which may well mean learning to say ‘no’ to people and putting God first in everything. We don’t want to be like the people who would not openly acknowledge their faith for fear they would be put out of the synagogue, people who ‘loved human praise more than praise from God.’ (Jn 12:42-43) Instead, we need an unshakeable confidence and faith in God (like Daniel and Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego) who could withstand pressure and temptation and refuse to bow to other gods.
Living to please God before people may make us unpopular in the short term (though we should never try to be inconsiderate or selfish in our service.) However, we must be secure in our identity as children of God and not motivated by a desire to please others in order to gain from them the approval and love which only God can give. Only when we are secure in God’s love (see Jn 13:1-4) can we stoop to serve others.
