An expectation is what is considered the most likely outcome in a certain situation. We all have expectations of life, whether these are expressed or not. Sometimes, our expectations are realistic and based on reliable experience (we expect that the sun will rise in the morning and set in the evening, for example) and at other times, they may be unrealistic and based more on wishful thinking or fantasy than any experience based in reality (expecting to win the Lottery when you don’t even compete, for example.)
Expectations generally lead to other emotions: satisfaction if they are fulfilled; disappointment if they are not, with frustration, anger and resentment being other reactions to unfulfilled expectations.
Quite a lot of the negative emotions we experience may well be due to unfulfilled and unrealistic expectations. We can feel frustrated with ourselves when we do not reach the targets we have set for ourselves; we can feel annoyed with other people when they do not do what we want them to do.
We can even feel angry and upset with God when He does not meet our expectations.
We need frequently to tug away at the layers of our expectations to find what resides underneath. Were those expectations realistic? Were they based on fantasy or rooted in truth? Did we ever voice those expectations to others or just expect them to intuitively know what we expected of them? Have we projected our expectations onto God without pausing to consider if they line up with His revelation of Himself? One of the most piercing lines I have ever encountered says ‘With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is’, going on to ask ‘But will we trade our dreams for His?’ (‘Somewhere In The Middle’, Castings Crowns)
Laying down our expectations is painful. But there is a world of difference, as Eugene Peterson comments on Psalm 127, between ambition and aspiration. There is a world of difference between our dreams and God’s. God’s dreams and expectations are much bigger than ours. C. S. Lewis writes ‘We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.’ (‘The Weight of Glory and Other Addresses’) Sometimes we have to let go of our expectations – and other people’s expectations of us – in order to embrace God’s. There is, after all, a world of difference between Biblical hope and our expectations. I’m not sure we should never expect, but I do know that we should always hope!
