If intimacy is a God-given longing within our hearts, why, then, do we find it so difficult to be open and vulnerable in our relationships with others and honest and real in our relationship with God? Many of us find it difficult to let go of our inhibitions and dance unashamedly before the Lord as David did (2 Sam 6:14) or to pour out perfume as the woman who anointed Jesus in Luke 7 did.

There are several barriers to intimacy which we must overcome if we are to grow spiritually and choose the ‘one thing needed’ as Mary did.

1. We need to understand the depths of sin and learn to understand our own sinful hearts. Jer 17:9 gives us a clue to the deceitfulness of sin. Paul’s struggles in Rom 7:21-24 also catalogue how we can sometimes end up frustrated and doing the very things we despise. We need God’s help to understand even our own hearts (before ever we can fathom anyone else’s!) and need to pray Ps 139:23-24 frequently so that we are not deceived by sin.

2. All relationships require time and effort and we are often prone to laziness, a lack of spiritual determination to pursue what is good. When we are first courting, we love spending time with our beloved, rearranging our schedules, longing simply to be with them. Often, as relationships progress, our own effort and investment in them declines. We take each other for granted. All relationships, whether friendships or family ties or marriage, depend on time and effort to flourish, and neglect can easily cause those relationships to wither and even die. Song of Songs 5:3 shows us how we can find it too wearying to keep on investing in relationships, but if we are convinced that love is what matters the most, we need to keep on putting relationships as our first priority – above work, above recreation, above everything else which so easily claims our attention. Matt 6:21 reminds us that where our treasure is, there our hearts will also be. End-of-life regrets usually focus on neglect and omission. Let’s understand the importance and primacy of all relationships, and especially our relationship with God.

3. A third barrier to intimacy are the scars we carry as the result of the Fall. Problems arise ‘from deeply embedded neurotic responses that inhibit or prevent open relationships.’ (‘Five Smooth Stones for Pastoral Work’ P 54) These can be part of our personalities, which all suffer because of Adam’s sin, or can result from being hurt by other people. We find it difficult to trust, to hope, to persist because we feel let down by people and the more we have been hurt, the harder it is to open ourselves again to the possibility of further hurt. We build defence mechanisms that keep people at arm’s length so that we cannot be hurt again. Often, these defence mechanisms are like the walls of a fort or castle. They keep people out effectively, but whilst that prevents us from further hurt, inside, we starve for affection and companionship. In mediaeval times, armies would fortify and garrison the castle to protect it, but quite often, those inside the castle could be starved out in a siege.

That’s what happens to us when we build effective defence mechanisms which leave us protected but starving for meaningful human contact. Loneliness creeps up on us and our souls are starved of the love and companionship which God has made us for, leaving us to wither and die emotionally, however well we may be physically.

The antidotes to loneliness and arm’s-length relationships are openness, vulnerability and love. Instead of running away from intimacy as so many of us do (often using distraction as the means of covering up the hollowness we feel within), we need to draw need to God, sure that He will never reject us or cast us out. (Heb 4:16) It doesn’t matter how bad we have been, what sins we have committed, how much our hearts condemn us (‘God is greater than our hearts’ 1 John 3:20), how much Satan tempts us to despair: not because these things are not true, but because Jesus has died as a ransom to set us free from all these sins.

The truth of the gospel is that all that was destroyed and ravaged by the Fall can be restored by the Cross and we can choose the better thing which will not be taken from us, as Mary did. We can be set free from condemnation; we can be ‘blameless now.’ (‘Boldly I Approach (The Art of Celebration)’, Rend Collective.) We can be welcomed as God’s own, welcomed into the arms of majesty, welcomed into the courts of the King. (‘Facedown’, Matt Redman) We can know that we will never be driven out from God’s presence: Jesus said ‘whoever comes to me I will never drive away.’ (John 6:37) This assurance means that we are free to love and to be loved in exactly the ways our hearts yearn for and we will find the joy and fulfilment we were created for.

This morning’s sermon looked at Luke 10:38-42, the famous passage where Jesus is visiting Martha and Mary. Far from being simply a commentary on two different personality types (Martha, the type A personality driven to activity; Mary, the more contemplative dreamer and visionary), this passage talks about the priorities we must have, with Jesus unequivocally endorsing Mary’s choices: ‘only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’ (Luke 10:42)

Clearly, faith and works need to go hand in hand (James 2:26, 1 John 3:18), but we are wrong if we suppose contemplation and adoration exclude action: ‘a contemplative life is not an alternative to the active life, but its root and foundation.’ (Eugene Peterson, ‘Under the Unpredictable Plant; P 114) Activity needs to be grown from adoration. Mary’s better choice was to spend time with Jesus and to sit at His feet, learning from Him. She craved intimacy with Him more than anything else.

Intimacy (a close fellowship or friendship or familiarity with someone, ‘closeness, togetherness, affinity, rapport, attachment, close friendship, companionship, mutual affection and warmth’) is much misunderstood nowadays, often being taken simply to mean a sexual relationship. Marriage, God’s ideal for sexual relationship, is also, however, a pointer to God’s relationship with His church. (Eph 5:31-32) Intimacy is the yearning in our hearts to know and to be known and this can only be fulfilled by God. In the beginning, everything God created was good and the relationship between man and God knew no barriers, an intimacy symbolised by nakedness. (Gen 2:25) When sin entered the world, that intimacy was lost and nakedness became something to be feared. (Gen 2, 27, 3:10) We long to be known and loved and accepted by other people for who we are, but we are afraid that if people really knew us, if people really knew our innermost thoughts and feelings and saw us in our nakedness, they would no longer want to know us or love us.

Thanks to God’s redeeming love, however, the barriers posed by sin can be removed and we can stand before the throne of God above with no fear or shame, covered in Christ’s perfect, spotless righteousness. Christ ‘died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant.’ (Heb 9:15)  Knowing we are set free from condemnation (Rom 8:1-4) transforms the way we live on earth and allows us to open ourselves to intimacy. Lavish, undignified worship and adoration will always offend some (think of Simon the Leper in Luke 7:36-50 or Michal, David’s wife, in 2 Sam 6:16), but will always be commended by God. One of the words commonly used for worship in the New Testament is proskuneo. It literally means ‘to come towards to kiss’ and had a secondary meaning of ‘like a dog licking its master’s hand.’ Kissing is one of the greatest symbols of intimacy we have. Our response to God’s great revelation of divine love surely has to be the same as Mary’s, the same as David’s, the same as John’s when he received that great revelation of the risen, conquering Son. We worship. We adore. We kiss the Son.

This week a number of ‘minor’ but essential jobs have been carried out at church, involving carpentry skills from Russell.

First of all, the new boilers we have had installed necessitated new piping and this has now been boxed in to protect the piping and make a neater finish:

Similar boxing-in work has been done in the ladies’ toilets:

Finally, to aid with the flow of hot water, the tank has been moved and boxed in:

Our thanks go to Russell for his hard work and to Dave for his organisational skills and willingness to help in so many ways when maintenance work has to be carried out in the building.

In our final Bible study on 1 John 17-29, we looked at two key factors for the confidence John expresses for his ‘dear children.’ Despite false teachers arising from within the church and the solemn warnings about the final hour and antichrists already being present in the world, he does not write with any sense of despair or fear because he knows ‘you have an anointing from the Holy One, and all of you know the truth.’ (1 John 2:20) This anointing from the Holy Spirit – reminiscent of the priestly anointing by oil described in Leviticus 21 – was on Jesus (see Luke 4:18) and is also the Christian’s legacy, for ‘it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.’ (2 Cor 1:21-22)

Because of this, we have God within us to teach and guide us (see Ps 119:99, Jer 31:33-34), though we have to balance 1 John 2:27 with other Scriptures which remind us that God gives human teachers (see Ezra 7:6, Eph 4:11-12, 2 Tim 1:11) as well as being our personal teacher! (Job 36:22, John 3:2)

The key for our ongoing spiritual health is to abide (or remain or continue. all translations of the Greek meno) in Christ. (see John 15:4-10) This word is used 121 times in the New Testament and 24 times in John’s epistles alone! What we have heard from the beginning must remain in us (1 John 2:24) and if we continue in God, then we will be confident and unashamed at Christ’s coming. (1 John 2:28) Abiding in Christ implies an intimate relationship, a personal relationship which is far more than outward obedience or rule-keeping. If we remain in Christ, all His righteousness and right standing with the Father become ours, therefore we have nothing to fear and can approach Him freely, without fear or shame. The devil has no further claim on us, for we have died to sin and are alive in Christ! (Rom 6:1-14) No wonder John is confident that his readers will remain in Christ under the anointing which is real, not counterfeit (unlike the antichrists!)

At the Bible study on Thursday we looked at 1 John 2:28: ‘And now, dear children, continue in him, so that when he appears we may be confident and unashamed before him at his coming.’

The Greek word translated here as ‘confident‘ is ‘parrhēsia’ and can also be translated as ‘boldness’ or ‘plainly’ or ‘publicly.’ A study of various verses (Mark 8:32/ John 7:13/ John 11:14/ Acts 4:29/ Eph 3:12/ Col 2:15) show us a range of translations, with Hebrews 4:16 possibly being one of the closest links to this statement found elsewhere in the Bible. It is used elsewhere in 1 John in 1 John 3:21 and 1 John 4: 17.  As we continue or remain in Christ, we can approach God with confidence because we know our lives are hid in Christ with God and therefore He does not see us in sin but sees us covered with the spotless righteousness of Christ.

Being unashamed (Greek aischunomai) is the opposite of the pure state in which God created man when ‘Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.’ (Gen 3:25) Sin brought with it shame and fear (Gen 3:10) and the equivalent Hebrew word often has connotations to do with becoming pale or with blushing (the Message version of 1 John 2:28 talks about ‘red-faced guilt.’) Ps 34:5 reminds us that those who look to God are radiant and never put to shame (see also Rom 10:11, 1 Pet 2:6). Far from being fearful and apprehensive about false teachers or our own fallibility, John gives us here two words which radiate hope. Songwriters have long captured these two words for us and we can draw close to God with boldness and confidence and shame or fear because of all He has done for us. Sing it out, for ‘what could be better than a grace that washes all our shame away?’ (‘Sing And Shout’, Matt Redman) What can be better than the truth that at the cross ‘There’s a place where sin and shame are powerless’? (At The Cross (Love Ran Red), Chris Tomlin)

‘Boldly I Approach (The Art of Celebration)’, Rend Collective

‘Boldly I approach Your throne,

Blameless now, I’m running home.

This is the art of celebration

Knowing we’re free from condemnation.’

‘And Can It Be?’, Charles Wesley

‘Bold I approach th’eternal throne/ And claim the crown through Christ alone.’

‘Holding Nothing Back’, Tim Hughes

‘You washed my sin and shame away
The slate is clean: a brand new day,
Free now forever
Now boldly I approach your throne
To claim this crown through Christ my own
Yours now forever.’

Thirst, Phil Wickham

‘One thing I ask and I would seek
To see You there in front of me
With nothing standing in the way
Just me before You unashamed.’

Asking someone their name is probably the first thing we do on meeting a person. We use names to identify and separate from others. It’s always a magical moment when a child learns to speak a name for the first time, signifying a growing understanding and the beginning of two-way relationships.

Dr Kate Granger, a 31 year old doctor suffering from terminal stomach cancer, became aware through her own illness of what it was like to be a patient, rather than a doctor. She started a campaign called ‘Hello, my name is…’ whereby she urged doctors to introduce themselves properly to patients, because she believed a confident introduction is the first step to providing compassionate care and is often all it takes to put patients at ease and make them feel relaxed at potentially distressing and difficult times. We cope much better with individual people and not nameless, faceless bureaucracy.

In the Bible, names are extremely significant. Abram became Abraham; Sarai became Sarah; Jacob became Israel. It is vital that we know who we are in God and are secure in the identity He gives us. Matthew West’s song ‘Hello, my name is…‘ reminds us of the names we may well be more familiar with: regret, lies, deceit, worthless. Now, however, we have been given a new identity in God and our name has been changed.

‘I am no longer defined
By all the wreckage behind:
The one who makes all things new
Has proven it’s true.
Just take a look at my life.

Hello, my name is child of the one true King.
I’ve been saved, I’ve been changed, I have been set free.
“Amazing Grace” is the song I sing.
Hello, my name is child of the one true King.’ (‘Hello, My Name is…’, Matthew West)

Rev 2:17 has the amazing promise ‘To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it.‘ God knows us personally and has a new name for each one of us. In the meantime, let’s only allow the names He gives us to be our names. No other identity must define us; instead, we must learn to pray ‘Let me see myself through who You are’ (‘Restore Me’, Kutless)