Paul shows us in 1 Cor 13 what love looks like and what it does not look like.
Love is patient, showing a steadfastness which does not give up (see 1 Thess 5:14, Heb 6:15, James 5:7-8), reflecting God’s patience in wanting everyone to turn to Him in repentance. (2 Pet 3:9)
Love is kind, reflecting God’s kindness to us which leads us to repentance (Rom 2:4) and which gives us access to the incomparable riches of His grace. (Eph 2:6-7)
It does not envy, putting one’s own desires and needs first, allowing jealousy to corrode peace of mind (Prov 14:30), but looks to put others first, not being self-seeking (see Phil 2:3-4).
It does not boast, being big-hearted, but not big-headed! Any boasting we do should be in God (Jer 9:23-24, 1 Cor 1:28-29), because anything of value we are or have comes from Him anyway.
It is not proud (puffed up, inflated, arrogant.) Pride is a constant pitfall waiting to trip us up. Love does not have a superiority complex, nor is it keen to put others down.
It does not dishonour others. Love seeks to do the right thing in the right way, understanding the value of each person as an individual made in the image of God. It’s not rude or pushy.
Love is not easily angered (touchy, irritable, flying off the handle at the least little thing.) In chemistry, some elements are known as ‘volatile’ because they are unstable, always trying to combine with another element to find the stability they crave. Love is not volatile, leaving us permanently wary around people, wondering how they will react today. Love has a consistency and stability which reflects God’s unchanging nature. (Mal 3:6)
Love keeps no record of wrongs. So often, we keep ledgers of things people do wrong, being unwilling to forgive, holding on to grudges. Again, we have no right to do this when we consider how much God has forgiven us! (see Jer 31:34, Heb 8:12, Heb 10:17)
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.Schadenfreude (the malicious pleasure we have at someone else’s misfortune) has no place in our lives. Love isn’t censorious (being severely critical of others) or superior (looking down on people.) Instead, its delight and rejoicing is always with the truth, following the One who is Way, the Truth and the Life (Jn 14:6) and who said that only the truth can ever fully liberate.
Love always protects (throwing a covering over sin, as 1 Pet 4:8 says) and always trusts. Giving people the benefit of the doubt is not a popular thing nowadays, but we need to learn to forgive and trust people.
Love always hopes and always perseveres (bringing us full circle, for there is always patience and waiting involved in hoping and persevering!) Rom 8:24-25 reminds us of the need for hope and patient waiting; love looks beyond the present to the hope of what might be in the future.