In 2 Samuel 16:5-14 we see how David responds to the curses of Shimei, a Benjamite who was related to Saul. As David is journeying, Shimei hurls insults and dirt and stones at him, calling him a murderer and bloodthirsty man who deserves everything that is happening to him with Absalom’s rebellion. Abishai, fiercely loyal to David, wants to kill Shimei (after all, David is still king and this outburst could be considered treason), but David refuses to allow this. He is able to see Shimei as God’s messenger, even when the message he is bringing is one that may not be wholly true and even when it is deeply hurtful personally. His response is ‘Leave him alone; let him curse, for the Lord has told him to. It may be that the Lord will look upon my misery and restore to me his covenant blessing instead of his curse today.’ (2 Sam 16:11-12)
David models for us what turning the other cheek looks like (see Matt 5:38-40). Ultimately, we see this response in Jesus (‘When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.’ 1 Pet 2:23) David is able to deal with Shimei without fury or thoughts of revenge because he is able to entrust himself to God, secure that God’s discipline includes mercy. Paul urges us to leave room for God rather than seeking revenge (Rom 12:17-21), which is at the heart of how to respond to criticism. Though exhausted and pained by betrayal and insults, David is still able to refresh himself. (2 Sam 16:14) We too must learn to draw near to God at times when things are not going our way; what defines us is not so much what happens to us, but how we respond to this. We cannot rely on others to lift us up (though we are blessed by those whom God gives us as encouragers and helpers), but must learn to draw near to God in prayer, singing praise to Him through the troubles. We do this ultimately because we know God is in sovereign control of our lives and is working for good in every difficulty (Rom 8:28). The outcome is not at this point in the narrative certain; David does not know if Absalom’s conspiracy will succeed and if he will remain king, but he is able to trust God to work it all out. His responses are not always right, but in this, in focussing on mercy instead of revenge and on humility instead of arrogance, he models for us how to respond to criticism and how to live with painful circumstances.