I’m wrestling and struggling with so many issues right now. The way of faith does not seem to get any easier! I would expect it to, hope that each time I learn something more of God’s character, it would make it easier to surrender the next time He challenges me. But in all honesty, I don’t find it that way. Each step of faith, each leap of faith, each risk God asks me to take seems insurmountable and I wrestle, longing to please God but at the same time all too aware of my human frailties and fears.
Then I hear a song that articulates for me the struggles, the longings and I am broken again. I offer myself again to God and ask Him to reign in me – simple words, but for anyone who has faced these battles, you will know why I write this with tears streaming down my face and no answers to all the many questions. If you don’t understand this and think that this is one blog post too far, then I apologise. But God understands. God knows the struggles we go through to submit to Him. If Jesus wrestled with doing the Father’s will, I’m in good company as I yearn to allow God to reign in me.
“I have seen so many teardrops
Fall to the ground
I’ve held the hand of God’s children
Once lost and now found
I have walked it and I know
That my King is alive
And no other one
Has the love You provide
I want all who I meet
To see You through me
I want all that I speak to be You
If there’s anything that I would pray
It’s that the whole world would seek Your face
And in spite of who I can be
Please reign in me
Reign in me
I know it starts with the desire
To give You control
To lay down all my dreams
So You have my heart in full
Lord, I know this weary battle
It begins on my knees
In everything I want You to be pleased
I want all who I meet
To see You through me
I want all that I speak to be You
If there’s anything that I would pray
It’s that the whole world would seek Your face
And in spite of who I can be
Please reign in me
Reign in me
I can see the waters rising
I can hear the hearts reviving
Through You there’s nothing we can’t do
Let’s carry the people crying
And be a generation fighting
To lead the lost into Your hands
If there’s anything that I would pray
It’s that the whole world would seek Your face
And in spite of who I can be
Please reign in me, oh yeah
Reign in me, yeah
Reign in me, yeah
Reign in me, reign in me
(In my heart, in my mind, in my soul
Be the Lord of my life, take control)” (‘Reign In Me’, Jeremy Camp)
‘Reign In Me’, Jeremy Camp