Although we cannot actually be responsible for other people’s spiritual growth and need God to effect growth in us, we are not meant to grow spiritually in isolation, for ‘the life into which we grow to maturity in Christ is a life formed in community.’ (Eugene Peterson, ‘Practise Resurrection’, P 35) 1 Cor 12 reminds us that we are a body, with each part individual but necessary: ‘God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.’ (1 Cor 12:18) We need to understand that we can be instrumental in helping others to grow, for – difficult though it is to learn to live with others, in that process of learning how to live with others, our selfishness and demandingness are re-shaped into selflessness and sacrifice.
Maturity is all about becoming the person God has designed us to be and in so doing we fit into Christ’s body and find out what our part is there. Eph 4:16 talks about the whole body being joined and held together by every supporting ligament and how the body grows and builds itself up in love as each part does its work. We do our part, our work, effectively only really when we understand who we are in God and what He has designed us to be and do. Becoming the person God designed us to be is a spiritual process which God works in us.
We help other people to grow by:
- accepting them as they are (Rom 15:7), being secure in who we are so that we enable others to be the people God has designed them to be, appreciating diversity without demanding uniformity. We accept that God puts people into the church (it’s not a social club!) and has the right to choose whom He wants (see 1 Cor 1:26-29) and we accept people unconditionally (see Rom 14:13). Accepting people offers them the space and freedom to grow. It’s like giving them good soil in which they can ‘breathe’.
- listening to people (James 1:19) and in so doing, reinforcing the fact that they matter and have value and worth simply for who they are, rather than merely for what they do. Listening to people takes time and enables us to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. (Rom 12:15)
- loving people (John 13:34-35, 1 John 5:2), demonstrated through positive words and caring actions. Encouragement and affirmation are significant ways to help people flourish. We live in environments that are hostile to faith and need the encouragement of other believers who remind us ‘you can do it!’ and ‘God can do it!’ Loving people creates an environment for growth, including giving people the freedom to fail without that affecting our relationship with them. Paul urges us to ‘encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing’ (1 Thess 5:11) and in so doing, we can help other people to grow.