Mike Bickle, in his comprehensive commentary on the book of Song of Songs, says ‘Jesus cherishes the church in order to take the stain of sin out of her soul’ and goes on to say ‘nourishing and cherishing is God’s method to change people… All of the Lord’s discipline occurs as He nourishes and cherishes us.’ (‘The Ravished Heart of God’, Vol 1, Session 11)
It’s very easy for us to use other methods of disciplining: naming and shaming, humiliation, fear, manipulation and dread, for example. But if we are honest, we know that we respond best to discipline and challenge when we are secure that we are loved. People who truly love us earn the right to speak words which challenge and discipline us in ways that others whom we only fear can never have.
In the NKJV of Song of Songs 4:9-10, we read ‘you have ravished my heart.’ These are strong words. Moreover, this isn’t the only chapter when the Bridegroom sings the Bride’s praises; it may come as a surprise to us to realise that the Bride’s eulogy of the Bridegroom is a relatively small part of the book in comparison to how many times the Bridegroom reassures the Bride of his desire and her beauty. In Song of Songs 6:9, he says ‘my dove, my perfect one, is unique.’ He says ‘Turn your eyes from me; they overwhelm me.’ (Song of Songs 6:4) Nine times in this book, the Bridegroom affirms the beauty of his bride (Song of Songs 1:15a; 1:15b, 2:10, 13; 4:1a; 4:7, 6:4, 7:7) He’s in love and he’s not afraid to express that love through words. He uses words to build up, not to tear down.
That’s an object lesson for us in the power of encouragement (see Rom 15:4-5). It’s often said that in a relationship, we need to hear ten positive things to combat the impact of one negative thing. Only when we are secure in love can be lavish in love towards others. John 13:3 says ‘Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God.’ Because of the security of his relationship with his heavenly Father, Jesus was able to minister to the disciples in humility and love them to the end and show them the full extent of his love. (Jn 13:1). As we revel in the love God has for us, we are given access to his love to lavish on others, the ability to nourish and cherish others, and in so doing, faith and hope are built into people’s souls. Let’s learn to be like Barnabas, the ‘son of encouragement’, and allow God’s love to fill our hearts to overflowing.