Phyllis Diller once said, ‘Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.’ The Bible is clear that anger or wrath in people is rarely righteous. It is, of course, right to be angry about things that are evil or wrong; God’s wrath is described throughout the Bible as something which is holy and pure. But so often, our anger is not because of evil or injustice; it is because something has gone wrong for us and we want, in our selfishness, our own way. That’s why Paul says, ‘Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold’ (Eph 4:26-27) and why James says, ‘Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.’ (James 1:19-20)
Wrath can be defined as uncontrolled feelings of anger, rage and even hatred, often being associated also with a refusal to forgive and a tendency to desire vengeance. Dante described vengeance as ‘love of justice perverted to revenge and spite’, and it can be notoriously difficult for us to sift through our feelings of anger to separate what is true and right from what is ignoble and selfish.
When we feel angry, it is time to dig deeper and find out why. It is also time to seek God for help, so that our anger does not manifest itself in ways that will damage other people. As Ambrose Bierce remarks, ‘speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.’ We can’t take back words once they are spoken; we can’t undo the actions committed in anger. All we can do in those situations is ask for forgiveness and seek to restore what we have damaged. It’s better for us to deal with the source of anger – usually our pride, stubbornness and selfishness – before it grows into words and actions, however.
Self-control is one of the fruit of the Spirit. Self-control is the answer to anger. Instead of those explosive outbursts or those frozen rebuffs (silence can be just as much a manifestation of anger as noisy tirades), we need to allow God’s Spirit to melt anger and to replace it with love, compassion and kindness. Paul reminds us of our former way of living, saying: ‘You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.’ (Col 3:7-9) He specifically urges us to ‘be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.’ (Eph 4:32) A life of love has to be careful not to allow selfish, unrighteous anger to grow.