The parable of the lost son (Luke 15:11-32) has so much to teach us about differences in personalities and managing relationships. The younger son, somewhat reckless, independent and immature at the start of the story, wants his share of his father’s estate and isn’t prepared to wait for it. He has the demandingness of youth, a belief that he is entitled to something and an impatience which couldn’t wait to be off on its travels. He is impulsive, someone who has great ideas but not much stickability.

Making mistakes, as he did, is perhaps inevitable, but at least he learned from his mistakes. The younger son comes to earth with a bump. Famine strikes and he ends up with a job that brings him no satisfaction and a hunger that won’t go away. He sees something of his selfishness and foolishness and resolves to go back home. He’s no longer going to demand something of his father; he’s going to offer to work for him as a servant. Now, he’s got rid of the spirit of demandingness and entitlement which we saw at the start of the story. He respects his father and understands that working for him would be far better than working for a pig-man. He has been humbled through adversity. Sometimes it seems that adversity is the only teacher we’re willing to listen to…

The older brother has a completely different personality. He is hard-working, dutiful, responsible and sensible. He’s worked hard for his father all his life. He hasn’t squandered money on wild living. He’s probably regarded as a ‘model citizen’ by people around him.

Yet it becomes increasingly clear that dutiful obedience isn’t what relationship is really about. The older brother may have been doing all the right things outwardly, but inwardly he is seething with resentment and suppressed anger which boils over when his wastrel younger brother is welcomed back so lavishly by their father. His duty has been perceived as ‘slaving’; his cry is really the one all parents of two or more children have heard at some point: ‘it’s not fair!’

Whether we believe we are entitled to something from God or that God does not always behave fairly, both attitudes reflect a lack of understanding of grace. Grace can never be earned. It is freely offered to us by God, but we don’t deserve it.

The father in the story, a type of God the Father, shows both wisdom and understanding in how he handles his children. He understands that his younger son needs the freedom to make his own mistakes. He lets him go, even though he doubtless knew that no good would come of this venture into independent living. He cared enough for his son to allow him the freedom to discover for himself what truly mattered and he left the door open for his return. He cared about his older son, too, not wanting him to react in sulks and anger, assuring him of his ongoing love and support.

In the film ‘Bruce Almighty’, God gives His powers to a mortal called Bruce. He has all God’s power, but God reminds him that He has given people free will. When Bruce’s relationship with a lovely lady breaks down, he asks God, “How do you make so many people love you without affecting Free Will?” God’s answer is “Heh, welcome to my world, son. If you come up with an answer to that one, let me know.” The truth is, we cannot make anyone love us. God gave us free will. We choose to love. Relationships ultimately are not about manipulation or forcing people to do what we want.

Being a parent means learning to let go, which can be painful and costly. There is no guarantee our children will come to their senses and learn from their mistakes. As a parent, we would like them to learn from our mistakes and we long to protect them from making their own mistakes. But we have to let go and entrust our children to God.

One of the things I am slowly learning and which this parable illustrates so clearly is that not everyone is like me. Relationships often seem so difficult because we are all so different. Whether we are more like the casually irresponsible younger son or the duty-driven older son, though, we need to understand that change is not only necessary but possible. The father, who was possibly wise from ‘bitter experience’, loves both his sons freely and without strings. True love always wants what is best for the other person. God’s love for us is so great that He longs for us to return to Him freely, serving Him out of a delight that we are in relationship with Him rather than out of a fear-stricken sense of duty that actually seethes and stews with resentment.

Grace is God’s undeserved favour. We’re not entitled to it. We don’t deserve it. We can’t earn it. Nonetheless, John tells us that ”to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:12) God, in His great love, wisdom and grace, has poured out His love on us and given us the right to enter His holy presence, to become His children, to have a right relationship with the Creator of the Universe. May we neither take that for granted – as the younger son originally did – or try to earn it – as the older son did – but freely receive all that God has for us and serve Him with gratitude and with joy.

This week, the Bible studies on Ephesians re-started. We actually began this study in January 2010, but the news that we had got the new building in February meant that all subsequent Thursdays were spent painting and doing DIY to get the building ready. By summer, we were ready for a rest, so it is only now that ‘normal services’ (!) have been resumed.

A new start meant a whistle-stop tour of the background of Ephesians and a study of Ephesians 1. It was great to see so many people there, eager to learn more. We looked fundamentally at the huge list of all that God has done for us and also at what we have to do:

What God has done
* blessed us in the heavenly realm with every spiritual blessing
* given us grace and peace (grace he has ‘lavished’ on us!)
* chose us in Him to be holy and blameless (‘without reproach’)
* predestined us for adoption as children in His family
* redeemed us through the precious blood of Christ
* forgiven us
* included us in Christ
* marked us with a seal or stamp, the Holy Spirit, as a deposit guaranteeing our
inheritance (which is immeasurably rich!)
* given us great hope and power (the same power that raised Christ for the dead is available to us!)
* given us the Spirit of wisdom and revelation
* made us into Christ’s body
* put Christ as the head of the church

What we have to do
* hear the word of truth
* believe
* hope
* love others (especially having ‘love for the saints’)

We also looked at the things Paul prayed for and how he prayed. His key prayer for the Ephesians in chapter 1 was that they might know God better. May we learn to pray as he did:
“I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.” (Eph 1: 17-19)

The quiz looked at different items which somehow have the devil’s name associated with them:

The sketch looked at how the devil tempts us and leads us into sin, no matter whether we say we believe in temptation and sin or not!

It was also time for birthdays… this time, the guitarist was also the birthday boy!

At the family service on Sunday evening, we looked at the subject of the devil. Through a quiz and a sketch and then through Mark’s sermon, we looked at the enemy we all face so that we might be equipped to ‘take your stand against the devil’s schemes’ (Eph 6:11)

The devil (known by various names, such as the evil one, Beelzebub, Satan, Lucifer, the dragon and ‘god of this world’) tempts us and wants to destroy us. He is a liar and the father of lies (John 8:44). He is an accuser and opponent (Zech 3:1). We looked at the temptation of Jesus in Matthew 4 and learned that the devil comes to us at our weakest points and is persistent, but that temptation in itself is not sin. Jesus used Scripture three times (Matt 4:4, 7, 10) to combat the devil’s temptation: Scripture is our ammunition and we should strive to memorise it as Jesus did.

Moreover, we need to submit ourselves to God and resist the devil, knowing then that he will flee from us (James 4:7) The way we live should in itself be a means of resistance, for we are called to live a life worthy of God (Eph 4:1-6). Jesus gave his disciples authority over demons (Luke 10:17-20) and by knowing and using Scripture, loving each other and putting on the armour of God, recognising the authority we have been given by Christ, we can stand against the spiritual forces of evil in the invisible realm. Prayer itself is the battle. We need not be afraid, because he that is in us is greater than he that is in the world (1 John 4:4) and because Jesus has promised never to leave us or forsake us (Heb 13:5-6).

Garry continued his series on the Holy Spirit this Sunday morning (12th September). He started by asking some challenging questions:

1) What do we believe?
2) Why do we believe that?
3) Do we have wrong ideas about God?

Describing and understanding the Trinity is dangerous ground! The fact that there is one God (Deut 31:39) in three persons is not easy to grasp, and some sects (eg Jehovah’s Witnesses) flatly deny this doctrine. As we worked through Scriptures, however, we saw how God the Spirit was present at creation and how the whole Trinity (Father, Son and Spirit) can be seen at the baptism of Jesus (Matthew 3:14). We often think of the Godhead in a hierarchical role, with the Father like the Managing Director of a company and the Son and Spirit subservient to him! Garry stressed that the Holy Spirit is God, that He is co-equal and co-eternal with the Father and Son and that the Holy Spirit is a person, not merely a force.

From a language point of view, confusion can arise because the word ‘Spirit’ in Greek (pneuma) is a neuter noun. Genders in languages are one of those things English people find difficult to grasp because they are no longer a part of our everyday language. Nonetheless, Garry demonstrated that the Greek adds the personal pronoun ‘he’ in John 16:13 to remind us that the Spirit is indeed personal, not just a ‘neuter entity’, and demonstrated that gender is a tool of language. Moreover, the fact that Jesus calls the Spirit ‘another Counsellor’ (John 14:16-17) shows us that the Spirit is like Jesus. In Greek, there are two distinct words for ‘another’: ‘allos’ (“Would you like another piece of this same cake?”) and ‘heteros’ (“Would like another piece of a different cake?”) The first word (‘allos’) is used in this passage.

Other Scriptures which underline the personality of the Spirit included Acts 5:3 (where Ananias and Sapphira lied to the Holy Spirit), Romans 8:27 (the Holy Spirit has a mind) and Romans 15:30 where the love of the Spirit is mentioned.

It’s wonderful to know that the Holy Spirit dwells within us and guides us into all truth.

Just a reminder that the midweek meetings have re-started this week and tonight (Thursday at 7.30 p.m.) is the prayer meeting. Bible studies on Ephesians will follow every Thursday in September after that.

I don’t know about you, but I’m finding that prayer is absolutely essential if I’m to get through even one day right now! There is so much work to do, so many problems to face, so much pain and hurt in the world that it is impossible to face those things with hope and courage if you do not spend time with God, seeking His face and discerning His will. We need to hear His voice so much. His perspective changes our view of ourselves, of each other and of the world.

Meeting together to pray helps us to lift our eyes above the earthly things and focus on God. “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” (Col 3:1-4)

“Where you go, I’ll go
Where you stay, I’ll stay
When you move, I’ll move
I will follow…” (Chris Tomlin, ‘I Will Follow’)

If we are to know when God is moving and when it’s time to go or stay, we need to spend time with God. A prayer meeting is a good place to be!