Self-isolation may be the ‘hot topic’ at the moment as a fear of the corona virus spreads over the world, but in our series on ‘Connections’ today, we looked at the subject of marriage and the family – probably our closest horizontal connections on earth.

For centuries, Christian marriage was seen as the bedrock of society, but over the past fifty years or so, that view has been increasingly challenged, and nowadays there is a sense in which equality and diversity are seen as being more important than anything God may have to say about marriage and family. Anything goes as far as family relationships are concerned and the traditional Christian view that marriage should be between a man and a woman, involving vows, as the only sanctified place for sexual activity, is under attack.

Nonetheless, we affirm the Biblical view of marriage, based on an understanding of Genesis 2 and the high place Jesus Himself placed on marriage (see Matt 19). Marriage is not only a physical union but is meant to mirror the love God has for the church; God uses the metaphor of marriage to demonstrate to us something of unconditional, everlasting love. We cannot simply dismiss God’s views of marriage and the family without ending up on a road that does not lead to happiness (see Prov 14:12).

Paul addresses this subject in Eph 5:21-33, reminding us that the advice he gives to us is based on the mystery of the marriage between Christ and the church. Love, submission and obedience are key words to building successful family relationships, but the context for these is the selfless love of Christ, who gave Himself for us (see 1 John 4:8-10). Only as we learn to love others more than ourselves and walk the narrow path of self-denial (see Phil 2:3-4, Mark 8:34-36) can we build relationships that honour God and lead to mutual edification.

There is hope for us when we fail (as we so often do), for God offers us hope and a second chance, but we must move from the ‘blame game’ to accepting our responsibility in all relationships and turning to God in repentance. Only when that vertical connection is fully established and we receive God’s love can we hope to love others as He does. God’s plan was always that our relationship with Him would so influence all our relationships that others would see and know that He is God. May our earthly marriages, families and relationships reflect His love and forgiveness, showing others there’s always hope and always the chance for restoration and a second chance.

Revenge – the desire to get even, to make our own justice, to ensure that right is done – is often seen as a good way to live. Many films are based on this premise and are entertaining and often thought-provoking in how they portray this. It comes as a shock, therefore, to find Jesus urging us to trust in God’s ability to resolve situations rather than our own. His command to love our enemies and to seek God’s blessings for them (see Matt 5:43-48), to forgive those who sin against us (Matt 6:12, 14-15), coupled with the command not to repay anyone evil for evil (see Rom 12:17-21), all go against our cultural and personal desire to vindicate ourselves and sort justice out.

To eschew revenge does not mean that we don’t care about justice or that we are condoning evil. It does not mean we are doormats who can be walked on without fighting for right. It does mean, however, that we live in such a way that we reflect God’s nature and trust Him to wrong the rights. So often, our need for revenge is tied to our need to be validated, to prove that we are right and that we matter. If we are secure in our relationship with God, we can endure misunderstanding and great injustice because we know that God is fighting for us, ‘and if God is for us, who can be against us?’ (Rom 8:31) We can be confident that the Judge of all the earth will do right (Gen 18:25) and therefore we can trust in Him to sort out the present mess. This may take far longer than we like, but we follow the example of one who suffered the ultimate injustice of crucifixion and saw vindication beyond anything we could imagine (see Is 53:9-12, 1 Pet 2:18-25).

Pride is a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one’s own achievements, and whilst it is not wrong to be proud of some achievements, problems arise when we put more emphasis on these achievements than on God. It’s easy to put ourselves at the centre and relegate God to the periphery, and when this happens, we are apt to fall into the trap of self-righteousness.

Jesus told a parable about a Pharisee and a tax collector (Luke 18:9-14). The parable was told because some ‘were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else.’ (Luke 18:9) The Pharisee was entirely caught up in himself: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’ (Luke 18:11-12) The tax collector simply appealed to God’s mercy, and as a result he, and not the Pharisee, went home justified before God. We need to let go of pride in ourselves and our competence and self-confidence and learn to cultivate humility and an awareness of God. As Jeremiah told us and Paul reiterated, ‘Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.’ (Jer 9:24, 1 Cor 1:31)

If there was one thing we should all give up for Lent (and for life!), it’s worrying. Worry achieves absolutely nothing positive and Jesus warns us against the problems it causes in Matt 6:25-34. Corrie Ten Boom defined worry as a ‘cycle of inefficient thoughts whirling around a centre of fear’, and said, ‘worry doesn’t empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.’

We worry about so many things, some trivial, some more important, but ultimately worry is pointless. It does not have the power to change anything and simply leaves us worn out and fraught. Right now, the world is not only worrying about the corona virus; many people are positively panicking. Yet neither worry nor panic, fear nor fretting can actually change anything. We need to learn to let go of all worry and replace it with trust in God. Faith, not fear, has to be our guide. Isaiah reminded the people many years ago, ‘Do not call conspiracy everything this people calls a conspiracy; do not fear what they fear and do not dread it. The Lord Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy, he is the one you are to fear, he is the one you are to dread.’ (Is 8:12-13)

Paul reminds us that prayer is the antidote to worry: ‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.’ (Phil 4:6-7)

One of the most frequent Lent abstentions is from alcohol, caffeine or chocolate. There is nothing wrong with these abstentions, for all these things can become addictive, and it can be good to ‘de-tox’ from things which would seek to gain first place in our lives.

There are many addictive substances in the world, and most of us would recognise the destructive nature of some of these (including cigarettes and drugs.) The harmful nature of other addictions (to chocolate, caffeine, social media or shopping, for example) is not always as evident. However, we need to understand that anything which takes the place of God and which cannot be given up is an addiction which needs to be removed from our lives. The thing or person does not have to be destructive in itself to cause us problems. It’s all a question of allegiance and alliance. God needs to have first place in our lives or we are not whole people.

We must guard our hearts (see Prov 3:5-6, Prov 4:23) and not allow anything to become addictive and push God from the throne of our lives. This is often easier said than done, but God is able to break every chain which holds us and lead us into freedom. (Gal 5:1)

We have just received a letter from Reeba in India telling us about the January graduation service for the tailoring programmes. It’s so exciting to think of these women being equipped to earn their own living and receiving the gifts of a personal sewing machine thanks to our generosity.