Paul writes about revenge and living at peace with people: ‘Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.’ (Rom 12:17-18)

Here, he sets out our role, and also points out the limits of what we can do. Our part is not to repay anyone evil for evil, to eschew revenge and to be confident that God will sort out justice for us as He sees fit. Our part is ‘as far as it depends on you’ to live at peace with everyone. That will mean going the extra mile at times and certainly means living in a counter-cultural way, not wanting revenge, not seeking the harm of other people. But he is realistic. No matter how much we try to live at peace with everyone, not everyone will be peace-loving towards us.

We cannot be responsible for the attitudes and actions of other people. All we can do is to live in a peaceful way, not antagonising people, not seeking revenge. The rest, we must leave to God.

If we want to cultivate peace in our lives, we need to pray for wisdom. James tells us, ‘The wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. ¹⁸ Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.’ (James 3:17-18)

James is clear that godly wisdom is very different from the world’s wisdom, which is fuelled by envy and selfish ambition. We need wisdom to know the difference. Today, we must ask ourselves if we are motivated by envy and selfish ambition or by pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive, merciful attitudes. The Bible tells us that we reap what we sow (Gal 6:7), so it is vital that we sow good and godly things in order to reap a harvest of righteousness and to live in peace.

Another step to living peaceful lives is to refuse to be an offended person. It is very easy to take offence at what someone says or does, whether they mean to upset us or not. R. H. Lelchuk says, ‘People who get offended operate on a purely emotional level fostered by their insecurity.’ When we are easily offended, we refuse to accept apologies and are always on the lookout for someone to upset us. We dwell on what has happened; we refuse to forgive. We are touchy, tetchy people because we are not secure in God’s love and ability to defend us and right all wrongs.

H. Lelchuk goes on to say, ‘Being easily offended is a lot like worry; it keeps you busy and achieves nothing.’ That’s not quite true, because what it does achieve is to keep us without peace. If we want to live peaceful lives, we must let go of being offended and move on to love even our enemies.

How do we cultivate peaceful lives and peaceful attitudes? Jesus said, ‘Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God’ (Matt 5:9) There’s clearly great benefit to being a peacemaker, but it’s not so easy to put this into practice!

The first step to cultivating peacefulness in our lives, families and communities is to know peace with God. Knowing that we are at peace with God helps us to see the world through His eyes. We see ourselves as recipients of grace and mercy. We don’t deserve to be called children of God. It’s not a ‘right’, as such; we are not entitled to it. It’s the free gift of God to all who will welcome Jesus as their King.

The spirit of entitlement and arrogance which tramples over other people and expects favour on demand is at odds with living in peace. Jesus shows us a different way: the way of being meek and gentle (Matt 11:28-30), the way of service rather than demanding to be served. (Matt 20:28)